 Bonus Features and Behind The Scenes - What's Porn Really Like?
By AJ on 27 Mar 2007
Everyone's porn viewing habits are different. Some like to watch only as much as it takes to get them off as fast as possible, skipping straight to the good stuff. Some savour a scene at a time, letting the action dictate the pace of their pleasure. Some devour entire movies in one sitting, picking and choosing the bits that appeal to the turnons of the moment. Me? I like to watch the extras, the behind the scenes features. It may not be as conductive to wanking, but it's almost always fucking entertaining, and you learn more than you thought possible about porn in the process.
I recently reviewed Harmony's Backstage, a movie dedicated to the increasingly popular genre of behind the scenes special features. It was delightfully constructed to give just the right amount of properly filmed hardcore sex mixed with plenty of shots showing these same sex scenes actually being filmed, and of course loads of fun and frolics from the girls and crew themselves, in between.
Chances are, if you're a heterosexual British porn movie fan, you wouldn't mind having a go at being a stud. Every time you watch a porn film, you mentally put yourself in the guy's place, thinking, "I could SO do that." It's ok, I don't blame you. Who wouldn't want to be paid to pork those beautiful British pornbabes? The nearest most guys ever get to these adult starlets in the flesh is a good old perv over them on the Strictly Broadband stand at Erotica.
(The reality of a porn shoot, however, is enough to make most guys realise that they should just stick to the wanking. Just watch some of the bonus scenes featuring footage of the sex being filmed. You never think about it while you're breathlessly beating your meat over some glistening penetration closeup, but consider for a moment how close that videocamera had to be. Even with the girl of your dreams, a lot of guys would struggle to stay hard if there was another guy in the same room, let alone 4 inches from your crotch, resting his camera on your stomach.)
 Luckily you don't have to be a porn stud to be able to see behind the scenes and enjoy the comings and goings of a shoot. Got a massive crush on a particular pornstar? Can't get enough of her movies? Hunt down the titles with bonus scenes - a lot of these will have footage of your babe in all kinds of amusing, horny and cute predicaments, just being herself. If you watch the extras before the sex scene itself, it's almost like being able to hang out with her beforehand and get to know her a bit. I don't know about you, but I'm always more turned on by a girl who isn't just another generic naked porn body - watching sex is more horny when the participants have a personality - it makes the wank that much more fun and naughty.
Talking of fun, doesn't it turn you on more when you know that the girls you're watching absolutely, 100% love their job? In many bonus scenes, you'll become aware that even before the cameras are rolling, and after the cumshot's over, these sex-crazy little minxes remain horny, up for it and willing to please. Wander over to an average porn chick with a camera, before the scene starts, and ask her to say hello, and she'll be half naked and fingering her pussy before you know it. Now that's my kind of girl - but I'd never have seen the evidence without watching all the extras.
But which movies and studios have the best bonus features and behind the scenes action?
Harmony: In general, you can't go wrong with a Harmony production. There's usually some great interviews in the 'Fuck Me' and 'Slam It!' series bonus scenes, in which you can get to know more about your favourite stars. If it's extra action you want, try some of their feature films like The Hacienda or House of Shame.
Ben Dover: One of the reasons Ben Dover's movies are so popular is that they're real - just pure, unadulterated gonzo, filming the girls from the moment he meets them. It's incredibly sexy seeing these amateur babes in their jeans and Tshirts, chattering away to Ben and his very funny studs, who slowly get them naked for your pleasure and mine. Every Ben Dover scene has all the fun you'd normally find in other studios' bonus features, but my very favourite has to be the bonus feature from We're 18! We're the A-Teens! which, among a load of other horny hilarity, contains some amazing footage of Elle Brook pissing on a small glass table.
Private: The newest movies from Private have had some really cool bonuses recently - many of which focus on the 'making of', which is always interesting with these higher budget productions.
The 'making of' scene in Girls Night Out features the beautiful Euro cast chatting away in their adorable accents, with wide smiles and lots of very sexy dancing and fun, and of course the camera crews being filmed filming the action.
The reality sex compilation Explosive Women goes one better, including 2 'making of' scenes for different Private movies. One will stick in your wank bank for quite a while, with a beautiful blonde explaining how she always has genuine orgasms with girls, because she's bi, which is accompanied by footage of her making love to another stunning blonde, on a boat.
Doll Theatre: We love British studio Doll Theatre, who come up with witty and original themes for their movies every time, producing amusingly ambitious low budget scripted Britporn that usually includes some kind of backstage bonus, extra or deleted scene. One of the best I've seen so far is the making of The Va Gina Code - the super futuristic props and sets are charmingly lo-fi off camera - such as the 'Edward Penishands' glove with 5 vibrators taped to it - it's a far cry from the tropical luxury of the Private shoots! The backstage dialogue is priceless too, most notably as the girls are playing with their new toys pre-shoot. "It's too big, I can't get it in!" "Ah, c'mon, love, it's no bigger than Jay Scarman" "Yes it is, it's fatter!" "Just bung on a bit of lube." "Owww... has anyone got any poppers? God, this job's glamorous."
Another Doll Theatre title, Dr. Loo and the Filthy Fucking Phaleks, had me in hysterics with it's bonus scene 'Hooper's Bloopers'. Steve Hooper, one of the most used male pornstars, simply cannot get his lines right, and the girls can't be blamed for totally failing to keep straight faces. 4 of them are kneeling naked in a circle around him, and when McKenzie Lee suddenly stands up, she's a good foot taller than him in her heels, and, in his cloak and big toy gun, he cracks up laughing along with the girls. It only gets worse for the poor director Gee, as Hooper accidentally fluffs line after line, and the entire cast start singing, dancing and generally taking the piss.
However, the funniest one I've ever seen is from Jim Powers' movie Hooligans - it had me literally crying with laughter. One actress is trying to lob a brick through a shop window, and her weak, girly throws just bounce off, again and again. As the crew get impatient and try to throw the brick themselves, it eventually becomes apparent that it's not so much her throwing as that the entire window seems to be made of bulletproof glass.
And just when you thought this bonus scene couldn't possibly get any funnier, witness the pornstar who's finished her scene and proceeded to get very, very drunk. This adorable cutie is crawling on her hands and knees around a fully manned, lit up porn set, jeans and knickers round her ankles, demanding to know where the bathroom is as she has to go pee. Once she's been filmed pissing, she stumbles upon a boy/girl scene being filmed, and literally just throws herself into the middle of it, shoving her head up between the participants to lick the guys balls. But she's so drunk, her head just kind of gets banged back and forth as he tries to roll with it and carry on fucking. I can almost guarantee this is one of the funniest bonus scenes you will ever see - it's the pinnacle of porno behind the scenes comedy. Unless, of course, you have some kind of moral objection to drunken naked pornbabes. No? Ha, thought not.
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