I'd like to personally invite you to a party. Why should you come along (as if an invite from yours truly isn't enough)? Well, some of the UK's top strippers, including Strictly favourite Joy, are putting on their biggest shows of the year. All sorts of cool people will be there, in various fantastic and kinky outfits (or in nothing at all - I've not decided yet which category I'm going to join). The after-party has been described as "the Glastonbury of sex", with such a variety of erotic goings-on that there's sure to be something for all your personal tastes.

Think that's too tall an order? - with North Downs Pony Club trotting their pony-girls around the venue; a top of the range VX1 Female Orgasm machine to ride to climax (or for the guys, watch while a waiting line of ladies do); Electricks administering electrical stimulation; and for the narcissists among you an Infinity Dome (where you can get jiggy while watching yourself reflected in thousands of tiny mirrors); you won't be disappointed. If you prefer to get back to basics, there's a Breast Fondling Booth, a Salon Of The Senses, and a lapdance booth where Joy and I will be writhing and grinding away till our thighs (or our guests' laps) can't take it any more. And that's just for starters, the list goes on and on. There's even a Smoking Garden with viewing point for smoking fetishists

So how can you come along? Surely such an event will be impossible to get into, there will be a strict VIP-only guest list, and a terrifying door harpy determining just who's 'cool enough'? No, there won't, as that's the opposite of what this event is about.

This is the Erotic Awards and the Night Of The Senses, the annual all-for-charity extravaganza by The Leydig Trust, with proceeds going to the Outsiders charity, which helps people with physical disabilities find partners. It's happening on Friday September 12th, from 8pm-all night. To come along, you just need to buy a ticket (Tickets available here), and bring yourself (erotically dressed - don't worry, if you're really stuck the organisers will help you) and an open mind.

The first half of the night is the Erotic Awards, now in its 15th year, which honours the stars in the erotic universe. Awards are as diverse as Artist, Campaigner, Sex Worker and Politician. The winners are announced in between performances from the Striptease Artist and Performance Artist finalists, including the aforementioned Finnish blonde sensation Joy; pole-dance maestro Coco and Brit bombshell Tiffany. You'll also see new burlesque sensation Miss Bijou Noir and American performance artist Lazlo Pearlman.

After the Awards show is over, The Night Of The Senses kicks in proper for its 22nd year; an all-night erotica-fest that takes up Mass and its sister restaurant below in the vaults, Babalou. For a full list of what's in store for you, see details of all the Treasures and Treats here.

So now you're all up for going, but have checked out the ticket price, and think it's a bit steep (£60 in advance or £45 each for groups of five or more)? Read this article again. Think what an amazing night you're going to have (and there won't be one like this for another year). Imagine what a huge undertaking a night like this in on behalf of the organisers, the workers, the performers... who are all giving their time and talents totally for free. That reminds you, it's for charity. So you can come along and be wicked and depraved, or naughty but nice, or anything you want, while feeling all good and wholesome buying a ticket, knowing you're helping others fulfil their sexual desires. Who said giving to charity can't be fun?

The Erotic Awards and Night Of The Senses, Mass and Babalou, Brixton Hill, London SW2 1JF

Friday September 12, 8pm - all night

www.Erotic-Awards.co.uk

www.NightOfTheSenses.com