As a rampant fan of bumsex, I'll always pounce on any movie, book or painting that skilfully depicts the joys of sodomy.

In her accounts of how she fell in love with anal sex, Toni Bentley is not only intimate and kinky with her descriptions of anal pleasure, but also makes it hugely accessible. This is a book about a woman who doesn't just tolerate anal, but demands it. She needs anal sex to function, it makes her whole and sex just isn't sex without it. She is well and truly obsessed.

Intricate psychosexual analysis makes up some of the chapters, in between the supremely detailed descriptions of rear end loving. Learn all about how to make a girl crave it in the arse, and what might be running through her mind as she takes it.

Even more usefully, when you know exactly how it can feel from the woman's side, you'll know how to fuck her even better, to make it really something special rather than a one sided treat. Obviously anal isn't for every girl, but if you heed the more practical advice on preparation, pace and positions, you'll have a much better chance of persuading her than just by copying a porno.

Toni talks openly about her huge lube stash, her big jar of condoms, and her favourite anal toys and fucking angles. It's a breath of fresh air to hear often taboo subject matter discussed with such intelligence and wit. It's a side of anal sex that you don't see in porn, the reasons, the art, the utter submission.

Here's an excerpt:

He places me on my left side, pillows snug under my hip, raising my ass in a fetching little upward sideways arch. He grabs one of the tubes of K-Y scattered about the bed. I adore the sound as the top clicks open. Looking at me, he squeezes a gob onto two of his fingers. Looking to my ass, he spreads my cheeks so deliberately I cannot believe my luck.

He rubs the gel gently, firmly onto my asshole, into my asshole, rimming the entryway, smoothing the passage. There is the most wondrous look on his face as he does this, alternately gazing in my eyes and gazing to my ass. He slips a finger inside, then two, watching my face, keeping the gaze as I feel his fingers turning inside me, connecting us internally and externally, full circle. Sliding his fingers out, he squeezes more K-Y onto his fingers and rubs it smoothly along the length of his cock, hard as a rock.

It's Time.

Holding his cock, he guides it toward the crack in my ass, like a canoe aiming down a narrow ravine. I feel the smooth tip, both hard and velvety on my skin. The center of my asshole, like a magnet, gravitates toward the pressure. We meet. His key to my door, his positive to my negative, his plug to my socket. And the light goes on. Center to center, he nudges, I breathe, he pushes, I release, he pulses, I open, he pushes, I open, he plunges in, our eyes lock, and he sends me home.

Sometimes he'll then pull back, and thrust short at the entry for a while, other times he'll slide inward, downward, slowly, slowly until he is buried in my ass with no cock to spare, only balls outside. He'll stay there for a moment, not moving. Then he'll pulse farther. Sometimes he will move me into a different position - on my hands and knees; or standing up while bending over, hands plastered to the wall, or on my back, feet to the ceiling; or, a favourite, legs over my head and ass to the ceiling.

Whichever position I'm in, he remains above me, always looking down on me, watching me, loving me. And he'll make these shifts without pulling his dick from my ass. Totally fantastic. But whatever the angle I can feel his cock growing inside me, stronger, harder, deeper, pressing into my anxieties, my pettiness, my pride, my vanity.

Fucked off my feet, my shoes fall to the floor with a thud, one by one. He smiles and says affectionately, "Now we're having fun." Now I'm travelling on the fast train to paradise. Unschooled as I am in the process, tears often fall out of my eyes. Like a true gentleman, he will shield my eyes with his broad hand, giving me privacy, while he fucks me harder and harder, faster and faster, squeezing out the tears.

At first the pleasure was unbearable and I'd try to pull away, try to know what was happening. But he doesn't let me, fucking me so relentlessly that any attempt to backtrack to control is useless. It is here that his domination is complete.

It's not all arse fucking though - here's what she has to say about the theory of blowjobs:

One day we had a conversation. Having discovered how to surrender, I was committed to continue doing so. This entailed remaining passive, ready to submit, willing to let him manhandle me, to let him enter my ass. On this particular afternoon, he said that he loved fucking me - and my ass - that everything was terrific, and if it stayed as it was, he would still love it. But, he continued, if I learned how to suck his cock really well, that would be a real bonus. After swallowing my pride, I said "Okay, teach me." And he did. So well. And then I started adding things of my own.

Sucking a dick is an art form. He gave me some basics. Wet, wet, wet, the wetter the better. Circling the base above the balls with a strong grip is good. So is circling the cock and balls with a one handed grip. Mouth: no teeth, ever. Smooth, wet, tongue in, or better, tongue long and licking.

Then we got to variations of movement,speed, tension and rhythm. Change course, he suggested, surprise is good. Don't just do one movement over and over and then switch. For example: base circled by the thumb-middle-finger cock ring, soft lips around his cock, down his cock, build up a consistent rhythm, watch his face, see him get closer, then pull out and lick down the back side of his cock, over the balls, and then suction them into your mouth one ball at a time, wet, wet, and with a mouthful of balls roll them around on your tongue like almonds, then lick back up the spine and deep throat the whole throbbing thing. And variations on this.

Deep is good. Gagging is good. If you won't gag for your man, how can you really love him? Juices more slippery than saliva come up through the throat and coat his cock. It is the throat orgasm.

We recommend you check this horny paperback out on Amazon: The Surrender - An Erotic Memoir