Here at Strictly News, we love wanking. Obviously. Who wouldn't, with an endless stream of high quality hot pornography piling up on our desks and the hottest performers around popping in to the office for cups of tea? And if you lot didn't love tossing off too, we'd be out of jobs!

So why is the word "wanker" an insult? (along with the charming hand gesture, to drive the point home) It's normal to enjoy bringing yourself off, isn't it? Fun times!

Because a few years ago, having a wank wasn't exactly something you could be proud of. Most of our boyhoods were spent furtively beating it off under the covers or locked in the bathroom, trying to avoid the inevitable crippling shame that would result from our mums catching us. "It's a sin to do that!" they'd shriek in horror..."You'll go blind!"

But while we homos do our fair share of jerking off, those titty loving straight boys do it a whole lot more. Why? Because us queers usually want the same thing - a simple, no strings attached fuck. If you know where to look (and believe me, I do), gay bars, gay chat forums or gay personals sites can yield a local instant fuckbuddy within 20 minutes. Why have yank your own meat when you can hop online and achieve relief with a cute guy who wants exactly the same thing.

Fetishes, orgies and barely legal twinks all have a time and a place, but when I want that naughty, illicit edge to my fantasy, and the chance to use my imagination in super-pervy fast forward mode, I hunt down some porn involving straight men wanking. There's plenty of it out there - gay directors offering handsome straight blokes easy money just for pulling themselves off - no gay stuff. And for us viewers, it's a delicious tease, knowing that's all you're going to get from him, that he's doing it for the cash, and that he probably has a girlfriend who doesn't know.

Yep, there's not many hotter sights around than straight lads spreading their own creamy arse cheeks to give you a good look at their pristine sphincters. You can look but you can't touch. You'll never have them. So have a good, long perv on our favourite straight guys wanking on Strictly Gay Movies...

There's four scenes in this 'amateur audition style' gay movie - two of which are young tasty straight lads pulling themselves off for your viewing pleasure. Listen as the director asks them about their girlfriends and what they get up to in bed, as the hot guys direct their smouldering gazes right at the camera. Watch them strike naughty bum-showing poses as they show us all how they handle their big hard hetero cocks.

These amateur guys are auditioning in the hopes of breaking into the porn business - some are straight, some are gay, but it's the first time on film for all of them! Before they get to fuck, though, the director needs to know they can come on camera, so it's non-stop wanking here as these horny studs jack off and cover themselves in sticky hot spunk.

I know I've talked about this one before (and Bone Thugs 1 too) but I can't stop marvelling over those giant black cocks and how fucking straight these gangstas are. It's almost surreal to get to see this - straight black dudes jerking themselves off just for you, some of them actually putting on a better show than a lot of gay guys we've seen. The best bits are, of course, the climaxes - the camera is behind a piece of glass and each guy spurts his seed over what feels like your face. Low-fi and homemade, but very raw, and extremely naughty porn.